RABBI’S MESSAGE
Getting past “the Usual Suspects Syndrome”
This time of year is always marked by lots of “reaching out” to people about participating in various things – High Holidays, Adult Education, Youth activities, special events – the things that fall under the heading of “what we do” at Temple B’nai Jeshurun.
One of the classic traps when it comes to “reaching out” is what I call “the Usual Suspects Syndrome.” (I am not talking about the exceptional 1995 film, the Usual Suspects, which I highly recommend,) I mean the all-too-common practice of limiting our reaching out to the people who are within arm’s length. The syndrome tends to become more acute when there are so many exceptional people within arm’s length, as is the case at TBJ.
Consider the High Holidays. We have excellent Torah readers, wonderful people to do Torah and Haftara blessings, fabulous greeters, and oneg organizers. But somewhere between “we could certainly use more of them,” and “there are definitely more people out there who would love to participate if they were asked,” lies the need to avoid the Usual Suspects Syndrome.
Hence the purpose of this column.
There are three areas where I would like your help, please, to make sure we’re reaching out beyond the “Usual Suspects” and others on our various lists. It’s only through an act of self-restraint that I’m limiting it to three areas – believe me, I would love to do more, but if I learned anything from studying Mishna, (the earliest layer of rabbinic texts,) it’s that three is the perfect number if you want ideas to stick.
Area 1: Participating in the Torah Service (especially for the High Holidays)
If you know how to do the Torah blessings, Haftara blessings, read/chant Torah, or would be capable of lifting the Torah after it is read… and you would be interested in doing so at some point (either during the upcoming High Holidays, or at some other, more distant point in the future), PLEASE LET US KNOW!
Area 2: Future Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah students
The time to schedule our new crop of b’nai mitzvah (that’s the plural form) has arrived. We have our lists, the names of the kids out there who are at the age for setting a date, but I can’t help but feel we’re missing some. (I’m going to guess that not too many 9- or 10-year-olds read the bulletin, so) if you have a kid or know one between the ages of nine and thirteen, who does not yet have a bar/bat mitzvah date, PLEASE LET US KNOW. They may already be on our list, but we’d like to make sure we don’t miss anyone!
Area 3: Confirmation Students
Confirmation is for 10th and 11th graders and will begin meeting after the High Holidays. Once again, we have our list of names, but I know it is incomplete. If you have or know of a 10th or 11th grader in our congregation, PLEASE LET US KNOW so we can make sure they have the opportunity to participate. It’s time to start adding some more photos to the incredible gallery outside the sanctuary!
There we have it. Three areas for expanding our reach beyond the Usual Suspects.
I did say I would limit myself to three areas, even citing the Mishna as my basis for doing so. But if I learned anything else from studying Mishnah, it’s that there’s almost always an extra thing tacked on to the list of three – as in, here are three things, and there are those who say… this fourth thing. So Jewish – three, and by three, we mean four!
What is the extra thing in this case?
It’s you, of course. The next time we are looking for people to participate in something, if you’d like to be one of our “Usual Suspects,” one of our “go-to” people but we just haven’t asked – PLEASE LET US KNOW. The tendency is to ask people we know will say yes because they’ve said yes in the past, but that habit is limiting and well worth avoiding. Sometimes all it takes is reaching out to someone who is eager to be reached out to – maybe that person is you! PLEASE LET US KNOW.
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If you want to respond to any of these PLEASE LET US KNOW REQUESTS, you can email the rabbi directly at nealschuster@gmail.com, or send a message to Erin in the front office at office@tbjdsm.org.
Rabbi Neal Schuster
nealschuster@gmail.com